It never ceases to amaze me, the Creative pissing match

The Creative Pissing Match

This is one of the most ridiculous power dances ever invented by our devolution tendencies.  The Creative Pissing Match cannot be explained, and typically cannot be corralled once it has splash its way up your leg.

I have been in several creative pissing matches and they typically occur when the boundaries of who is in control are unclear.  This is where back stabbing, bad business, jealousy and rage trudge out of the primordial ooze and takes its first breath and does its best in destroying your project and leaving you angry and resentful.   What is so stunning to me is that a pissing match is so counter to the creative process.  A positive creative process grows a solid and fully formed collaboration, where a negative creative process usually gives birth to a convoluted, dysfunctional vision, a project that falls short of what it might be, or even worse an atomically horrific aberration.

Case in point, I worked with an up and coming live action director from New York on a very important national spot who announced upon meeting me that his "Live Action was King" and that my animation was just window dressing and may not even be necessary, although the client and agency had specifically designed the spot to have an animated character wreaking havoc throughout the commercial.  I gently informed him that in any combination live action and animated spot, there is no real way to feature the live action and that the nature of animation itself demanded the viewers attention.  It's just common sense, the typical viewer can see live action everywhere around them, if a clown jumps out of the bushes screaming, then most likely, you will no longer be intrigued by the bushes.

He never agreed and insulted me whenever he could and he made sure I was not invited to the post production session where the live action and the animation were to be composited.  He tried everything to minimize the animated character effect.  He even asked if they could view the spot without the character distraction.  He colored the character incorrectly, didn't add the highlight pass in post and although I was proud of the animation, he diminished it.  He was an idiot nightmare.  Instead of cooperating, trusting my expertise, being open to new ideas, he chose to jump up and down in his own creative mud puddle splashing everyone with his ill advised tantrum.

Unfortunately, the mud also splashed on us as we were lumped together as the creative team with this idiot, we never worked with that agency or that client again.  Price of doing business, bad business.  Sometimes you can't save the baby without getting wet from the bath water.

I ultimately don't understand the pissing match.  I don't get the lack of collaboration where ego overtakes any idea of creativity.  But one thing I have always noticed, is that the pisser always does it in alleyways and out of your sight.  These supposed creatives are backdoor insecure chicken shits who sneak behind your back to get their agenda under the spotlight and it is always a bad result.  Creativity has to be positive to succeed.

It never ceases to amaze me, the Creative pissing match

The Creative Pissing Match

This is one of the most ridiculous power dances ever invented by our devolution tendencies.  The Creative Pissing Match cannot be explained, and typically cannot be corralled once it has splash its way up your leg.

I have been in several creative pissing matches and they typically occur when the boundaries of who is in control are unclear.  This is where back stabbing, bad business, jealousy and rage trudge out of the primordial ooze and takes its first breath and does its best in destroying your project and leaving you angry and resentful.   What is so stunning to me is that a pissing match is so counter to the creative process.  A positive creative process grows a solid and fully formed collaboration, where a negative creative process usually gives birth to a convoluted, dysfunctional vision, a project that falls short of what it might be, or even worse a atomically horrific, aberration.

I have had several dances like this with live action directors who have been hired to direct a combination live action and animation job (for the first time).  Case in point, I worked with an up and coming live action director from New York on a very important national spot who announced upon meeting me that his "Live Action was King" and that my animation was just window dressing and may not even be necessary, although the client and agency had specifically designed the spot to have an animated character wreaking havoc throughout the commercial.  I gently informed him that in any combination live action and animated spot, there is no real way to feature the live action and that the nature of animation itself demanded the viewers attention.  It just common sense, the typical viewer can see live action everywhere around them, if a clown jumps out of the bushes screaming, then most likely that will command attention.

He never agreed and insulted me whenever he could and actually made sure I was not invited to the post production session where the live action and the animation were to be composted.  He tried everything to minimize the animated character effect.  He even asked if they could view the spot without the character distraction.  He was an idiot nightmare.  Instead of cooperating, trusting my expertise, being open to new ideas, he chose to jump up and down in his own creative mud puddle splashing everyone with his ill advised tantrum.

Unfortunately, the mud also splashed on us as we were lumped together as the creative team with this idiot, we never worked with that agency or that client again.  Price of doing business, bad business.  Sometimes you can't save the baby without getting wet from the bath water.

Experience is a "dirty word".

The worst word in the creative business English Dictionary is that scab picker, "Experience". When you are starting out in business it's the one thing you need but almost always lack and when you have pantloads of it you are perceived as an overpriced, opinionated bag of pain in the ass who will be too difficult to manage.

Ever notice that most job postings want 2 to 3 years experience and not 10 to 15 years? The only solution for this kind of ridiculous job market is to get a new job every 2 to 3 years that way you will have the perfect amount of experience every time.

A Post Story

Ever been in "post" with a knucklehead? It is a special moment. A favorite of mine occurred during a spot for a hospital chain near Cleveland. We were finishing the spot in "Flame" at a Minneapolis facility with one of the greatest Flame guys I have ever worked with (Jake Parker). We were busy compositing the animated character inks with several animated matte layers that acted as the character color and background. We composited in Flame (a very expensive process) due to the complexity of the animation and the amount of animated color elements, mattes and background plates. Things were going swimmingly until the Agency Art Director started putting his two flawed cents in.

The Art Director after finishing his large lunch that we hoped that would keep him quiet, started commenting on our color choices and wanted to adjust. There were several problems with his interference, one we were almost done (in other words why did he wait so long), and two, Jake informed him that it would be a difficult process due to the way he had set-up the file and gently explained (you always have to gently explain when dealing with a creative knucklehead)that it would have been better for him to have been involved during the composite. (I am sure that Jake was trying to help us here.)
Didn't matter. So "the Jake" started breaking apart a section so that the Art Director could bless us with his well fed miraculous eye. After a short period of time it was obvious that his color choices were awful. After an hour, the patience in the room started to wane and the eyes were starting to roll. I pulled the Creative Director out of the room and asked him to help us out and shut this guy up. He apologized, said he would wring him in and confided in me that this Knucklehead Art Director was of all things, colorblind. It cost us over a grand for the two hours of his screwing around and thankfully we ended up back where we started, sweet colors intact.
The good news, the Creative Director was a very loyal and wonderful guy who utilized us whenever we could and we rarely had to deal with the knucklehead again.

Can you learn from a Knucklehead?

Absolutely. The hardest lesson to learn in a creative life is to recognize that learning doesn't take sides. Even knuckleheads teach. They can teach us in a useful negative way, by showing us the bright light of what to avoid, what one should never attempt or do creatively. But there are those disturbing moments when the universe slaps you upside your silly head and gives an idiot a burning moment of creative revelation. Scary moments for they don't always know what they do.

I had a old high school football coach who taught an uninspired film class which mostly accommodated his need to snooze in a darkened room. He was truly a challenged individual and needless to say a waste of teaching flesh but he did display the first independent animated short film I had ever had the pleasure to see. This nightmare of a educator gave me the first breath of creative fresh air and forever changed my life. I am forever YIKED, bamboozled, and grateful.

So pay attention to the curveballs this universe so skillfully drills at your unexpecting head.

"IT doesn't WORK!"

I have been through many circumstances where a client makes a suggestion which is counter to the creative in their own spot and directly in conflict with what you are trying to produce for them. You politely respond, "I don't think that will work" and if you are smart enough, you will be able to explain why. (If you want to play the "Ego Card" you laugh, tell them to "shut up", or just say "no"). Hopefully after your explanation the suggestion has been tucked away in the forever forgotten pile of crappy ideas. If not, you have opened the Pandora's Box of creative issues. Are you just not talented enough to make it work? Are you too stupid to understand who you are working for? Are you not creative enough to defend your position? Not good. You do not want to be defending your creative, it should be the only absolute in the room. You ARE the creative.

As a young animator/producer, I used to think you could make nearly anything work, that was my job in a sense, give the client what he/she wanted no matter how ridiculous it seemed at the time. I was a young "MAKE IT WORK" Tim Gunn wannabe. Sometimes to my surprise it was actually successful, the client was happy that I used their idea and made it pretty as a butterfly just for them. But invariably, I would not be satisfied one iota, I would see their suggestion as a large nail in my creative tire. I almost never put those jobs on a demo reel and surprisingly most of the times the client did not return for the next offering. Big HMMMM.

The problem is this, a bad creative idea is a bad creative idea and it is your job to make sure those ideas don't screw the pooch. How else can you prove your expertise? In my crankcase old age, I actually suggest the "Ego Card" tell them to back off, that you were hired for the creative not them. Do it in an entertaining way, if possible, nothing like laughing like an idiot while they stare confused. Most of the times they want the outlandish, the "wack job", it is what the corporate world expects of us. But beware, make sure it is a creative difference and not a business difference, the client has a right to portray their product and brand how they wish. Know the boundary and understand the risk.

Yes, you can lose jobs this way and you cannot overplay this hand or you will be known through out the industry as some pariah or worse, a prima donna. Maintain balance, understand that you do not own creative thought, but be in control of what you have been hired to do. And certainly understand that living the creative life is all about risk, in and out and all about.

How do you prove you are an expert?

Years ago, expertise was a given. If you had the equipment, you must be an expert or at least you were in competition with experts. Certainly this statement is not entirely true, but it's not 50 mile walk backwards either. For example, back in the day, post-production was handled by firms with very expensive equipment. Millions of dollars worth of video technology, decks, ranks, massive color correctors, and editing equipment. You hire technicians and editors with vast experience in film and video. Now a retard art director comes into a post house with his Mac and Final Cut and shows the editor his rough cut. It's happening. Now the editor is forced to tell the knucklehead art director that his work sucks and he (happened to be a "he" in the version I know) should just let the editor do what the editor knows how to do. What the hell? If that ain't a screwed up situation. So if you are a pin head art director who thinks you have any talent in editing, then edit your kids home movies. Don't show your version of a commercial to anyone, not the client, not the creative director and certainly not the editor. Let a pro do it. When you have edit 10 years of your kids opening Xmas presents while Grandma swears like a sailor in the background, then maybe open your mouth, but keep your laptop shut.

The toughest question for many professionals now is how do you prove you are an expert. All the damn tools, now fit on a laptop. Photoshop, Illustrator, Flash, After Effects, etc. A nerd knows all the terms, hell they created this stuff. The quality of work is all over the place due to the internet due in part to the availability of cheapo video technology. The only solution I can come up with is be the best at what you do, "be original and be you" and hope they don't create a program to duplicate it.

I Remember an Age before KNUCKLEHEADS

The first commercial I ever animated was the best experience I ever had. I was working for a creative director named Carl Graneth and he was the best. During the production of the spot, I had an unusual idea and being a good little animation director I gave Carl a call and tried to explain what I wanted to do visually. I hacked and stumbled explaining the idea and Carl stopped me in mid stupidity. He said, "Look, I am the creative director, I drew the board, I sold the client on the idea, my job is done, it's your job now, do what you think works." I never heard those words again. The spot turned out great, Carl and the client were both ecstatic, and I felt like my career was just about to take off. Win, win, win, all do to a creative director who trusted the decision he made when he awarded me the spot.

Being Creative

It always amazes me how "being creative" is at times a big circus act with elephants and even scary clowns. Years ago, I went to my first pre-pro meeting at an agency in Boston who were planning a Halloween commercial for particular store chain. I was young and naive, and had never had a professional animation type meeting before. My father always wore a suit when going to important meetings and I felt at the time that I couldn't go wrong being dressed properly. I couldn't have been more wrong. I donned my "wedding suit", the only suit I owned, and went to the posh ad agency offices confident that I had made a good and smart fashion choice. When I got there, I was greeted by the creative director and producer for the agency and we sat down in a large conference room. Their first question was, "Where is the creative?" Mr. Dapper and now confused (me), responded by confidently telling them that I was in fact the animation director. They had a nice chuckle with a "No really" attached then asked again if the animator was going to join us. Luckily, I chose to use my feet for some fancy foot work and not as a chew toy and told them that unfortunately the "creative" couldn't make the meeting and that I came in his place. They asked if they could reschedule since this was to be a "creative" meeting. I like any good producer/account executive/lawyer instantly agreed that tomorrow would be a better day and apologized for the confusion. "Ha, yeah, you guys saw right past my little joke, ha ha." They shook my hand with odd looks on their faces and I knew that they were equally confused. Why did this knucklehead show up and tell us he was the creative and then cancel the meeting as quick as he came? "WEIRDO" lingered in Bold Helvetica in the thought balloons above their heads, at least that's what I saw. I dodged a bullet, but knew I had to come up with something good to gain the agencies confidence once again. My suit had them convinced that I was a business bozo of some sort and about as creative as a used tissue. I decided that I had no other choice than to give them what they wanted. The next day I entered the agency once again this time dressed in a cut-off, ragged hoody ravaged in oil paint, tattered shorts and sandals. I walked into the conference room, grabbed their presentation storyboard off their cute little easel and tossed it to the ground and said abrasively, "Who did this piece of shit." I plopped down in front of the same two agency creatives who sat stunned, surprised, and yet with ridiculous grins upon their faces. The thought balloons above their heads read once again, "WEIRDO" but this time it was the right type of weirdo. Egotistical, brash, all elephant and scary clown. I won them over, "being creative". The meeting went swimmingly and I was instantly hired to "redo" their board which they gave up like an unwanted step-child. Got paid, and even though the spot never happened (too much money for the client", it had nothing to do with the "creative." Sometimes the act is just as important as the talent. Embrace your inner scary clown.

A Toy Story con't.

So remember our little Toy Story (if not see below to get all caught up). So, here is the continuing saga. As you can imagine the omission of the invisible flower on the jumper was a problem easily solved. I drew a simple sunflower on the "cute" little doll design with pigtails and faxed it to New York. Excellent. Five minutes later, I received another call from the irritated producer. The flower was great, almost exactly right, but the doll's face was not quite on character. Remember I was dealing with no reference to speak of except a small thumbnail photo of a doll which was probably 5 pixels by 20 in terms of image size, the face was probably 4 pixels square. It was 3:00pm on a Friday afternoon and I had a 6:00 date with my wife. (So there was a teeny time crunch.) I asked if this could be done on Monday (trying to be a good husband) and was instantly met with that bizarre commercial producer panic. "The client would like this resolved asap". So Mister Customer Service kicks in and asks once again, "Can you send me a quick photo of just the doll's face?" The producer responded as if she all ready knew I was going to ask this question. "No, we are shooting an important sequence and the prototype was in make-up". Again, remember the prototype was the only doll that existed at this point. I then asked another stupid question, well, I guess it must have been a stupid question because the response was, "We don't know, can you just try some variations?" The question of course was, "Can you tell me why I am off character?". So that is exactly what I did, variations, changing eyes and proportions, lips and noses, and faxing like a madman. "No, it's still not there."lamented the broken record producer and client. To make this ridiculous story a bit shorter, I canceled my date with my wife and was in the studio past 8:30. The final result was my original design with the hairline an eighth of an inch higher. "That's it, that's perfect." the knuckleheads finally shouted from the other end of the phone. And then they had the amazing and mindless audacity to laugh and incredulously reflect upon the simple fact that the hairline was the only problem. Five and a half hours to move a hairline two ticks north.

Beware of Client

Clients can be the strangest animal on this green, blue and brown earth. I had a client who came to us with a very simple concept for a 30 second commercial long ago. He asked us to add a bit of innovation to the spot and I thought we were well on the way to a good experience.

The spot had to do with an animated line which would transform and change creating new images as the voice track narrated. We came up with several new line styles (in the design stage) trying to give the line some character and texture. We felt good about the direction we had provided our new client and felt the style was cool and innovative.

REACTION: Client just wants a simple inked line, nothing fancy.

Okay, so we continued and began laying out the spot to the scratch track and began creating interesting image combinations and image sequences choreographing the line in a lyrical dance. The line would float above a ground plane casting a shadow of the various images the soundtrack illustrated, houses, cities, a couple dancing, etc.

REACTION: Client wants the line to just represent a graphic mouth talking. No morphing or changing images. Just a happy mouth.

Okay, so we have a simple graphic lined mouth lip syncing. This is getting boring but we will do our best to give it life. We finish the spot and present it to the client. We weren't thrilled with the end result, there was no shadow pass, no textured line, no transitioning animation dancing its 30 second story, only a simple mouth talking (on a white background, we had planned a graphic panel as a background)

REACTION: The Client thinks the spot is boring, nothing is really happening but a graphic mouth talking to you.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't work with idiots for clients.

Happy New Year Knuckleheads

2010 might just work.

Goodness Gracious

I am just amazed at what the American consumer will buy. Yikes. Can't wait for Easter. I can see it now, a blow up Christ on a cross. The Wall Mart Crucifixion. That will be great.

A Toy Story

Working on a toy commercial before Toy Fair was always an adventure. Once upon a time, I worked on a doll commercial that was a very special vehicle for knuckleheadism. The toy company and agency was in the midst of shooting the live action for the commercial when they contacted us to design the doll character for the animated section of the spot. Unfortunately for us, there was only one doll on the planet, the prototype, and that was being used for the live action. I asked the producer to send a photo via the internet even though it was the early days of dial up. She agreed and soon a photo was in my inbox, when I opened it I was surprised to find a 50 pixel by 50 pixel thumbnail photo with a tiny image of a doll in it. I called and asked to send the photo at a larger size to which the producer responded that they were too busy with the live action shoot and to just do the best I could. She continued to say that I should just design a cute doll with pigtails and that should work and that she needed the design asap due to the client being available. Well, I got right to work and within a couple hours faxed the first design. In less than five minutes, I received a call from the producer who was extremely upset that I had missed the flower on the doll's jumper. How could I miss something so obvious. The flower in question was one a little more than one pixel on the reference photo they had sent. Unfortunately for me, it didn't stop there. To be con't.

Have fun with it

Ever have a client or agency pitch an idea and then say, "Hey, you know, have fun with it". This phrase especially comes into play when everyone in the room knows that the idea is about as fun a three hour lecture on the "Weeds of North America". "Have fun with it" becomes synonymous with "Can you save it?" Give it the baby seal treatment and save me the trouble. Eeesh.

A Story from Don Bajus

Don Bajus was a remarkably talented artist and an incredibly enthusiastic animator. He had a unyielding energy for plowing through some of the most difficult animation jobs and making them sing a very loud animation song. He told me a great story once and even though it is not a true knucklehead story, it is an entertaining one. He was awarded a commercial from a prominent potato chip company and received a one panel presentation board of the bag of potato chips riding atop a flat-bed train. Don designed a beautiful moving 2d animation of a train traveling through a landscape of rolling hills.

The work was incredibly detailed and the movement fluid. The entire frame had to be animated as the train, the background together frame by frame. The train passed car after car, to the scene where the bag of potato chips rode atop the flatbed (just like the board) and then off into the glorious distance. I don't remember but I am sure the smoke trailed behind to create a wonderful morphing tag.

Once the pencil test was complete, the agency and client, flew up to Minneapolis to view the spot. The film was placed on the KEM (a flatbed motion picture film editor) and the client readied himself front stage center. As soon as the film began the client looked at the scene with a concerned and confused expression plastered across his face. The animation flawless, the motion of the train bordering upon reality. Don needless to say was puzzled by the lack of a positive response. Then the bag of potato chips rolled on the screen. The client shouted, "That's it, that's what I want, just that. I don't want all that other stuff".

So all that amazing animation was scrapped for a simple cycle of the bag of potato chips bouncing gently atop of a flatbed train for the entire 30 seconds.

So let's wrap this bad boy up.

So in the continuing saga of the soft drink commercial that would die a horrible death, where the live action director didn't want an animated character to ruin his combination live action animated spot and so forth and so on. The worst part of this whole fiasco was revealed in the live action tag, the "money shot" where the soft drink is tossed back in one big hearty gulp by a macho stud. The actor not previously present on the set, walked in and donned his wardrobe and instantly reminded everyone of Michael Jordan. Everyone of course except the live action producer and director who assured the client that he was too muscular to be "Mike". The situation came to a head when the video assist revealed that this guy's profile, Helen Keller herself couuld have seen the resemblance. The soft drink executives asked this animation director his opinion, and I stated the obvious truth (too heated glares from the live action company), "He looks exactly like Michael Jordan". Why is this a problem? Well the main issue would be infringement upon Jordan's image, false advertisement, and the fact that Jordan was not under contract with this soft drink company. OOPs. Duh. Not good. Okay, so they re-shot the tag a week later, and used a non-union talent. Guess what? He turned out to be a convicted felon. The soft drink company received a call from a New York drug lord telling our little soft drinkers, that the new tag guy was a convicted murderer. Oh happy, happy, joy, joy our greatest opportunity in the proverbial toilet. The spot was pulled after only three weeks on air. It took us over a year to get it for our reel. YAY, KNuckleHEads!!!

The saga continues

So back at the soft drink commercial that died. Why did it die? Bad decisions plus, might be a reason. I went to NY to observe the live action shoot. If you are an animator and have to have a character interact in a live action environment, you better make an appearance at the live action shoot. The main reason is that you want to make sure that the live action director keeps the character in mind, leaves room in the shot for the character and doesn't make a decision that will cause you to lose sleep later. And when you have a live action director who doesn't want the animated character in the spot, it is a journey in diplomacy, eye-rolling, and conflict. During the shoot, our wonderfully talented live action director continued to brush me off, when I would remind him to "leave me some room". He wanted to direct and didn't want to hear from some animator, so basically he ignored me. I had to talk to the director of photography on the sly who understood and agreed with my direction and "slipped" in shots that woudl work for me while the director wasn't paying attention. This lack of cooperation from the director definitely hurt my companies rep with the client even though I was trying my like crazy to put on a smile and work through it. The client, a huge soft drink company, surely appreciated how poorly we were working together, and they returned the favor by never working with us again. Yes, there is more.

Invisible? (con't)

Yes, I am finally back to telling the continuing saga of the soft drink commercial that went to "hell in a hand basket". So here we were, a live action director who felt that the live action should be "king" in a combination live action and animated character spot. He lobbied the soft drink company through out the production of the spot to eliminate the animated character. He wanted it to be a ghost, completely invisible, so that the interaction was mystery. The reason the film was being destroyed was due to an unknown phantom. Thankfully, the soft drink company in question stepped in and saved the character. This director wasn't the easiest to work with, he demanded that he design the character, which of course, we re-designed, then he tried to get rid of it. And that's not all.

Who was the Knucklehead this time?

Back in the early 90's, I was awarded a commercial from a very big soft drink company located somewhere near Atlanta. It was a big break, a fabulous coup for a small animation company. We were very excited about working in several innovative techniques we had developed and it was good money. The live action company (the commercial was a combination of live action and animation) in their great wisdom had issues with making the animation "king" and announced that the live action should supersede any animated character and began to lobby to get rid of the character all together. "It could be invisible", they stated. (to be continued.)